Marriage: A Beautiful Picture of the Gospel

Marriage is tough. Anyone who's been married for more than a few years knows this truth intimately. The wedding day is easy—dressed in our finest, surrounded by loved ones, celebrating love and commitment. But year after year, marriage reveals itself as a journey requiring patience, grace, and perseverance.

Why is marriage so difficult? Because we bring our brokenness into it. We're imperfect people trying to build something beautiful together. We struggle with communication, harbor unmet expectations we didn't even know we had, and carry baggage from our past. Add to this a culture that increasingly devalues marriage, and we face challenges from both within and without.

Social media doesn't help. We scroll through curated posts showing picture-perfect relationships and wonder why our marriage doesn't look like that. We forget we're comparing our real life to someone else's highlight reel.

But here's the good news: the gospel changes everything.

The Foundation: Mutual Submission

Before diving into specific roles within marriage, we must understand a foundational principle that applies to all Christians: "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" (Ephesians 5:21).

This universal call to submission isn't about weakness or inferiority. The word "submit" simply means to arrange yourself underneath someone else—to consider their needs more important than your own. Jesus himself modeled this perfectly. Though He was God, He didn't use His equality with God for His own advantage. Instead, He emptied Himself, took on human flesh, and humbled Himself to the point of death on a cross.

Jesus washed His disciples' feet. He served. He loved. He submitted.

Submission and humility aren't just nice ideas—they're essential values for Christians. We can't come to God arrogantly, bringing our accomplishments and demanding recognition. We come with humility, trusting Him with our lives. And the same posture that brings us to Christ should characterize how we treat one another.

The Call to Wives: Trusting God's Design

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord" (Ephesians 5:22).

This verse makes many people uncomfortable in our modern context. It's been misused and abused throughout history to oppress women and justify tyranny. But that's a tragic misapplication of Scripture.

Submission doesn't mean inferiority, servitude, or mindlessness. It's not about losing your identity or becoming a doormat. Rather, it's recognizing God's divinely ordained order and trusting that we flourish most when we live according to His design.

Consider this: the same God who calls wives to submit is the God who valued women when culture treated them as property. Jesus welcomed women, taught them, and chose them as the first evangelists of His resurrection. Paul taught that in Christ there is no male or female—we are all equal heirs. Early Christians taught their wives to read so they could participate fully in the life of the church.

The foundation of our modern understanding that men and women are equally valuable was built on these biblical principles, not despite them.

Submission is about attitude and trust. It's about recognizing that God created marriage with a particular order—not because one person is better than the other, but because order allows for flourishing. When a wife submits to her husband, she's ultimately submitting to Christ, trusting that God's way is best.

And crucially, submission to a husband is always within the bounds of obedience to God. If a husband commands something God forbids, or forbids something God commands, a wife's first allegiance is to Christ.

Submission is fundamentally about trust. You can't trust something while maintaining complete control. It's like skydiving—you can say you trust the parachute all you want, but you don't really trust it until you jump out of the plane.

The Call to Husbands: Sacrificial Love

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25).

If the call to wives feels challenging, the call to husbands is staggering. We're not told to lead with authority, to provide material comfort, or to exercise power. We're told to love—with the same self-sacrificing, death-defying love that Christ showed the church.

This is agape love—the highest form of love. It's not just affection or companionship (though it includes those). It's love that gives itself completely, that considers the beloved's needs above all else, that lays down its life.

Christ loved the church by cleansing her, sanctifying her, presenting her without spot or wrinkle. He made her beautiful. He made her holy. And husbands are called to love their wives with this same devotion—to create an environment where she can flourish and grow, where she feels as special as she did on her wedding day, every single day.

This isn't about kingship; it's about companionship. It's not about tyranny; it's about responsibility.

Practically speaking, what does this look like? It means thinking about her constantly. It means the small gestures—bringing home her favorite treat, taking tasks off her mental to-do list, giving her time alone to recharge. It means changing diapers, doing bath time, and being a fully engaged partner in parenting and household responsibilities.

It means sacrificing your time, your hobbies, your comfort for her wellbeing. Your wife doesn't need you to work endless overtime for a bigger house where you can be further apart. She needs you—present, engaged, and devoted.

When husbands love their wives this way, submission becomes natural. When a wife knows her husband is devoted to her flourishing, trusting his leadership isn't a burden—it's a gift.

The Bigger Picture: It's All About the Gospel

Here's the profound truth that ties everything together: your marriage isn't primarily about you.

It's not about your happiness or satisfaction. Marriage exists as a living picture of the gospel—a tangible, visible representation of how Christ loves the church and how the church responds to Christ.

God didn't create marriage and then later think, "Oh, that's a nice metaphor for my relationship with my people." No, He designed marriage from the beginning, before sin entered the world, as a perpetual reminder of His love for us.

This is the "profound mystery" Paul references. Marriage points beyond itself to something greater.

When you struggle to understand how God can love you, look at a devoted husband who provides for, protects, and creates space for his wife to thrive. That's how God loves you.
When you wonder how to serve God faithfully, look at a wife who willingly supports her husband, not as a slave but as a partner, helping him fulfill his calling. That's the picture of the church responding to Christ.

Whether you're married or single, marriage shows us the gospel. And if you're single, your life demonstrates the sufficiency of the gospel—that relationship with God alone is enough.

Living It Out

The call for all of us is simple yet profound: submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

For married couples, this means wives trusting their husbands' leadership and husbands loving their wives sacrificially. It means having honest conversations about what this looks like in your unique relationship, trusting the Holy Spirit to guide you.

For everyone, it means humility, service, and putting others first.

Marriage is difficult. But when lived according to God's design, it becomes a beautiful proclamation of the gospel—without a single word being spoken. The world sees something different, something compelling, something that points to a love beyond human capacity.

And that's exactly what God intended all along.